And So It Goes

It's been a long, hard half-winter, but it's behind me. I can smile about that. There have been deaths and a struggling friendship and stress, stress, stress. It's so nice to come out the other side and find I am still whole, and that I could go through it all over again and still come out whole.

The friendship is still struggling, but I can look back with confidence at my decision to cut those unhealthy cords cleanly and know it was the right thing to do. Not only for me, but for us. I am happy to let things stand as they are without forcing a single step. I am proud of myself for stepping away from our problem. We will either move forward together, sewing up the rift with new thread, or it will remain torn. Either way, it had to be opened and I am ready to accept whichever way our winds blow.

On another front, physical distance forces me to resist a new temptation. It is really lovely to witness the birth of a new coven and experience the joy of all its little bubbles of news. Baby steps, really. It's something of a phoenix, but one that has been ready to be born for a long time. I apologize for not speaking plainly. You know how that goes, some of you. Ah yes, the temptation. The allure is to allow myself to get all caught up in the baby spiral of energy and feel it grow all around me, to be part of that growth. Then I wake up in the morning and realize what a blessing the distance can be, that I value my freedom of practice and solitude of spirit far too much to marry into the family. But I'll still be its lover.

"So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows."